Groundhogs day. Still in the frickin process of falling down/gaining. Every day.
Yesterday my daughter lifted up the bottom of my shirt while I was tucking her in and I was horrified. Horrified because it exposed my muffin top, which was slopping over my jeans which weren't even buttoned or zipped all the way up. Yeah, I've been zipping them up 1/2 way and folding the part with the buttons in so it's sort of like they're buttoned. Only it's not. Because I've gained so much that they don't fit comfortably any more. And the inside seams are starting to show the little white patches which means the friction is wearing them down to nothing. Feck. Hello, eBay, I'd like to purchase another replacement pair. And yes, I will swear it is the last time I'll be doing this (again) because that's how I (dellusionally) roll.I now have 67 pounds to lose to make goal. But I'm not going to focus on that. I'm going to focus on what I know works. I don't want this to be a depressing blog (only monthly, apparently) that details my repeated failure to get my shit together. Enough already.
I'm trying to figure out what craving losing weight will satisfy--you know, that go to image I can envision/conjure up when I'm tempted which will get my head back in the game (the game I have yet to successfully map out--more on that b.s. later).
Here are the current front runners:
- faster marathon (faster being relative to "poke ass" or "not at all")
- the ability to actually RUN
- feeling freer & lighter
- fitting into a particular clothing item (don't laugh, that's worked before)
- guns (see above: the awesome cuts on the arms kind, not the weapons of mass destruction)
Yeah, I have got to do better than that.
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