Sunday, April 7, 2013

Meeting Monday Head On

Yesterday I watched the movie Lbs. After losing around 100 lbs, the main character declares "Monday finally came". I've been trying to force a Monday for eons...well, no, that's not entirely true. I've been mildly interested in making Monday come. Especially when I realize how frickin ashamed I am when thinking about seeing people who knew me before. I feel "less than" because of my weight and that pisses me off because I know how very ridiculous that is.

I'm not going to bemoan the state I am in or the numerous failed starts and stops (there are many). I not going to analyze or make excuses (at least not right now). The plain and simple truth is I am a 44-year-old woman who needs to lose 61 pounds. The weight is wearing on me. I can't afford to ignore the impact my obesity is having on me, much as I'd like to pretend that that's not the case. My knees recently started hurting. My heart feels like it's pounding a little more than it should in different situations. I am dangerously close to outgrowing clothing in my closet if I gain just a little more weight. It's time. I am going to look forward and meet Monday head on--and it's going to take me how ever long it's going to take me to put my baggage aside and to get this weight off. 

I always put the planning on the back burner because there are SO many other things I'd much prefer to be doing (including just enjoying food and not thinking about the impact on the bottom line). I've had 9 family-free days and here I am, trying to get my shit together at the 11th hour. If it weren't for that 11th hour, I'd never get anything done.

But here I am. I'm not going to overly complicate this. This week, I'm committing to exercise at least 30 minutes every day and log everything I'm eating (and keep calories within the 1200-1500 range). Most importantly, when I fall down (which I will), I am going to refocus and plow forward. Eyes on the prize, bitches, eyes on the prize...